Category Archives: Editorial

Trystology Talk Podcast E8: Sexual Hibernation

Too busy for sex? Sexual Hibernation can happen.

Before talking about sexual hibernation, Roylin discusses An Orgasm A Day. This time about what to do when you or your partner is tired, but you still want to have that orgasm!

And, interestingly enough, the word heard at the store this week had to do with one of our recent episodes about being vanilla!  It’s so fun to have our customers reflect our philosophy back to us with beaming happiness!

This episode focuses on sexual hibernation.  What is hibernation?  As Roylin describes it, it’s a state where we put our sexual health on hold, and sit in that comfortable place, where we don’t address our sexual needs, or desires. Hibernation is not always something we do consciously.  Sometimes it just happens, because our partner is away. Because we don’t have a partner.  Perhaps because life is too busy or stressful or overwhelming to even remember that we have a sexual life. It’s not a bad thing to be in hibernation, but it is something we should be aware of, and something we can consciously choose to get out of. And it has nothing to do with age, as one can be in hibernation in their 20’s just as well s they could be in their sixties.

Roylin discusses how we feel in sexual hibernation, and some of the tools we can use to get out of hibernation. With our brain being our biggest sex organ, we need to remember that we can choose to get out of sexual hibernation. But if that’s not enough, we have tools to help us do so.

Pjur Med Energy Glide

The products of the day are meant to assist in getting us out of sexual hibernation. Whether we use a stimulating tool, like a stimulating balm, warming lubricant, or vibrating tool, there are a number of ways that we can wake up the body and work our way out of hibernation, whether we are with a partner, or not.

Female Viagra… REALLY?!?!

When I first heard about the female viagra pill I thought, what!?!? This isn’t something that’s necessary!  What are they thinking… then I realized the new drug is touted to fight low libido in women: Addyi, as it is known is the “female Viagra.”  It became available in October, and I’m pleased to know that no one has asked me about it.  In fact, when I told a customer I was writing about this, they said, thanks for telling me it was available!  I had no idea!

Here’s the thing, there’s this perception throughout society that women aren’t interested in sex.  From the “don’t get married if you still want sex” to the “I have a headache” perpetuated in movies and TV shows, society portrays women as these unwilling, not interested participants in the sexual encounter.  So it was no surprise to me when a pharmaceutical company announced that it was promoting a “Female Viagra” pill.  What a great concept!  Make women interested in sex… get them in the mood, because clearly they aren’t, and we need meds to get them there.

Here’s the thing.  It’s a farce.  Women as a species are in the mood.  It’s just that our brain is our biggest sex organ, and in this day and age women have a lot of responsibilities… Work, family, household chores, sometimes juggling this all on their own.  Just because she doesn’t “feel like it” doesn’t mean that she’s not capable of being interested.  And it’s certainly no reason to think that she won’t be interested once you’re married!  I’ve been observing my clients for the past 7 years and the thing is, by the time we’re 40, we think that we know our bodies.  We think, “well, I’m tired, and not in the mood, so there must be something wrong with me.”  This couldn’t be farther from the truth.  We may “think” we know our bodies, but our bodies are so complex, it takes some time and attention to fully understand what they are capable of.  We just need to be willing to explore and understand.

Let’s start with the little known fact that most women are like crock pots.  Yes, crock pots.  You know, that device we put on our counter to simmer our foods… women’s bodies were designed to “simmer”.  You know, like that  song “Sixty Minute Man” by Clarance Carter.  “There’ll be fifteen minutes of squeezing, fifteen minutes of kissing and fifteen minutes of teasing, And fifteen minutes of something you’ve been missing”.  The Sixty Minute Man.  Most women need 20-40 minutes to achieve an orgasm.  I’m not sure how many woman realize this, but it’s a anatomical fact.  We’re just built that way.  And if we were able to have “The Sixty Minute Man” every day, every time, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.  But the reality of our lives is that we don’t always have time for “The Simmer”.  Thus we have pharmaceutical companies selling us on the idea that in order to achieve orgasm, or get “in the mood”, we need that “little pink pill”.

Truth be told is that most women can “get in the mood” with just a little attention, and while we LIKE to “simmer”, they can achieve orgasms far more quickly and easily than the 20-40 minutes, with a little help from stimulating balms and vibrating accessories.  In my opinion, the majority of women, perhaps ALL women, can avoid this Female Viagra pill, with a little patience and attention.  Now, there is no “one size fits all” approach to sex and intimacy.  Each woman is different as each couple is different.  Everyone has their own special, unique needs, so it is something very personal, and which should be explored, and experimented with.

First of all, the issue lies without our own brains.  We “think” that when we wake up, and we’re not in the mood, that’s it.  It’s over.  But as Joan Price, one of my favorite sex educators, once stated “When you’re in your 20’s-30’s-40’s your sex drive drives you.  In your 50’s, 60’s and 70’s you need to drive your sex drive.”  We are hard wired that way.  Not everyone will experience a waning of their sex drive, just like not everyone is driven for sex in their 20’s, but understanding that some day you might just wake up and not be in the mood, or that this may happen many days, even in your 30’s, can be a symptom of your environment, workload or brain overload.  We need to acknowledge that this is happening, and take a step back, and CHOOSE to be “in the mood”.

What does “choosing to be in the mood” mean?  You might feel like the mind is willing but the body isn’t.  If you are in a relationship where you find you’re not “in the mood” but your partner is, it may be as simple as applying a stimulating balm to the clitoris, or using a vibrator, to “wake up” the body, and wake up the interest.  There is nothing wrong with finding a way to wake up desire, when the world outside has come into the bedroom and stopped your mojo.  You see, the thing is, we have no problem going to the gym and hopping on a elliptical trainer to get our bodies in shape, or taking vitamins to keep our bodies healthy.  We focus on our physical health, emotional health, spiritual health, but we forget that we need to pay attention to our sexual health.   Finding the right “tool” to assist you with your sexual health, is key, if you find yourself contemplating the “female viagra” pill.

Alternatives to “Female Viagra”: Stimulant Enhancers options:

W1000-H1000-p11925Newly offered is the Jimmyjane “Slip and Zing” kit, which offers a lubricant and stimulating balm kit!This adorable kit makes a great gift or simply the most stylish thing on a bedside table. A small glass bottle of Jimmyjane’s Personal Moisturizer and natural, organic Arousal Gel are included to heighten comfort and pleasure for both partners.  Both are free of harsh chemicals, and both products are organic and made in the USA with Jimmyjane’s proprietary formulas.


Sensuva On Balm is one of the most discrete, and easy to transport stimulating balms on the market.  It’s also one of the most unique in that the stimulating sensation is more like a pulsing, throbbing stimulation. Using ON AROUSAL BALM, can help a woman’s body respond more easily to physical stimulation, and give her the type of full-body awareness that raises her arousal level. These two things give women the ability to achieve orgasm easier.


Intimate Earth is the natural choice for enhancing your intimate moments. Intimate Earth offers Intense and Gentle Stimulating balms, so you can choose what’s right for you! All Intimate Organics products are made with USDA Board Certified Organic Extracts, are vegan friendly, and never tested on animals.

Alternatives to “Female Viagra”: Vibrating Tools options:

Where do you start with so many wonderful options?  I am selecting the most effective tools for women, that they can use to “Jump Start” their desire, while with a partner… so mainly focusing on clitoral stimulation only.

We-Vibe Classic Couples Vibrator

We-Vibe Classic Couples Vibrator

First we’ll start with the number one selling couples toy, the We-Vibe Classic.  The thing I like about this is that it’s something that can actually be worn during foreplay.  It can be inserted, and as I call it “the warm up act” is the perfect tool to get a woman ready to be in the mood, by vibrating the G-Spot and Clitoris at the same time… hands free!  The thing is, once you figure out you love this toy, you’ll learn that it is remote controlled and bluetooth enabled, as well as waterproof!  So have fun!

Jimmyjane Lux Form 2

Jimmyjane Lux Form 2

Next we’ll look at the number one selling woman’s toy… it’s the Jimmyjane Form 2.  Now I don’t care if you get the traditional Form 2 or the Jimmyjane Form 2 Lux version, they’re both amazing! (you choose the Lux if you’d like to have the more luxurious version with gold, and slightly more power than the original) So this powerful, dual motored little hand held toy is great for nipple stimulation or clitoral stimulation. Feedback from customers is that it’s a pleaser, and can assist a woman in achieving an orgasm in 1-3 minutes! You really can’t beat that!


Palm Power Rechargeable toy

I’d be remiss in not mentioning the Palm Power, and Palm Power rechargeable! This toy is fast becoming one of our customer favorites, as it is GREAT for the man, awesome for the woman, and a GREAT toy to play together.  With its changeable heads, it can go from body massage, to G-Spot stimulation, or clitoral stimulation.  I’ve even had customers find creative ways to use it for their male partners, on the perineum or the frenulum.

Womanizer Air Suction Toy

Womanizer 500

Lastly we need to mention the Womanizer, as it is a new toy that has been very effective with assisting women with achieving orgasm.  It’s so effective that they have a 30 Day Satisfaction Guaranteed policy!  This toy works with suction air technology, which means it is touchless stimulation!  Through the different power levels of suction, a woman can have an orgasm in 1-3 minutes.  Whether it is the Womanizer 500 or the original Womanizer 100, both work equally well, though the 500 has stronger suction/power and two different head sizes, and the 100 is quieter and has a storage case.

Please let us know if you have any questions about this post, or need any suggestions for other ways to “wake up the libido”!  We are here to help!  You can write to us at .

You can see these and other products at

Open Letter to CHASE Bank

So, it’s interesting what you learn when you open an adult store.  Insurance was more difficult, one landlord was not willing to rent to me, and finding a merchant account, in the beginning was challenging.  The one thing I didn’t have any problems with was my bank.  They wanted my money, and were even supportive of my store, offering me loans, opening accounts for my business, and one manager even bought some honey dust from me!  That was until October, when I had to change my company name!  First they said Yes, then No, then Yes, then NO again… this time for good.  Even going so far to tell me I could keep my legacy account, then sending me form letters from Sr. VP’s, stating they were unceremoniously closing my account… all because I sold “marital aids”.

I want to thank AVN Magazine editor Sharan Street for publishing my “Open Letter to Chase” in their June 2015 Magazine!  I love the support!  And most important, we need to get the message out “Get the banks out of our bedrooms! And get back to the business of supporting small business.”

June-15 AVN Editors Notes 150

AVN Editor’s Desk, June 2015, Get the Banks Out of the Bedroom

To see our Downtown Ventura, CA location, that the Chase Harbor Bank decided they no longer needed to be associated with, go to for a slide show of the shop.

Trystology Featured in WEV!

So exciting to be part of the Women’s Economic Ventures, and to be a featured client this year!Screen Shot 2015-05-15 at 9.42.02 AM

As a business owner has anything specifically been harder than you expected it would be?
Because my business encompasses subject matter that makes people uncomfortable, even though I present it in the most delicate, discrete and classiest way, I am continually shocked when I am denied the ability to open a new bank account under my company’s new name. Even after six years of working with a bank, I have been denied from opening a new account while still being able to keep my “legacy” account simply because I sell “marital aids.” I forget the discomfort people and businesses have with my subject matter. We may be in 2015, however within my industry, it may as well be 1950.”  Read more…

This is my story of Bonnie Rotten

There I was.  Minding my own business.  Making videos with Meredith Davis in the Jimmyjane booth at the ANME show in Burbank, CA.  We’re talking about the new luxury gold plated Form 2 when up walks a long-legged, high-heeled babe followed closely by a small army of photographers.  I didn’t immediately recognize Bonnie, but Jimmyjane CEO Kenny Hawk did.  Kenny was eager to show Bonnie the Jimmyjane Little Platinum vibrator that I wear around my neck as a necklace…everywhere.  It’s so discreet and beautiful, I often wear it in my everyday life to city chamber events, networking group meetings and the like.  Vibrators don’t have to be ugly or shocking, right?  I want women to know vibrators can be beautiful!

Bonnie was very sweet to chat with me. It’s not like I woke up in the morning thinking, “Today, I will give an award winning porn star a massage.”  But hey, you just never know!

So if you want to rock your own vibe everywhere you go, check out our Jimmyjane page on our website and you can see the Little Chroma, Little Gold and Little Platinum!!!  They are awesome, and so discrete!  But remember, you need to change the batteries every now and then!  LOL!