Category Archives: Harness

Having Pride Enough to Love Beyond the Label!

Happy June, Southern California! Multi-colored flags are blowing in the sea breeze, and it is that time of year again! Trystology is celebrating Pride in all of it’s glory, but this year, we want to do so differently. Instead of recounting the history of Stonewall (don’t know what that is?! Please look it up!), emphasizing proper pronoun use, or spreading the good word that orgasms are natural and healthy (goes without saying, right?), we at Trystology have a special thanks to give this Pride season. See, whereas the LGBTQ community has had to define themselves by using labels to break free from heteronormative language and society, the love represented by this flag knows no boundary. In a world full of madness, this flag waves as a beacon to all those looking to authentically love and be loved beyond the label.

And well… that’s great for all of us… and in our humble opinion, here’s why! 😉

Full disclosure, as a shop specializing in intimate products for adults, we know most people here in the US have hang-ups about their sexuality.

It’s a sad, but true, fact that we grew up with bunk information about sex – if any at all! And because orgasms, arousal, and intimacy don’t come up as typical dinner table conversations, many of us were left to answer our own questions behind locked doors, on the internet, or within inaccurate anatomy books! Worse yet, as we looked, we only found two labeled camps – his sexuality and hers. Each had a specific function that neither could cross, like some sacred lock and key! Meanwhile, all of this “hush-hushing” and bad information left a lot of us feeling guilt and shame about our bodies, our desires, and the pleasure hard-wired beneath our skin for centuries. And that’s not LGBTQ specific, this informational short-changing was bad for everyone!

Got questions? That’s great 🙂 There are resources and people here for you!

Now there’s no getting around it – historically, the LGBTQ community has faced persecution, insult, discrimination, violence and invisibility. On the morning of June 28th 1969, warriors at the Stonewall bar in NYC ushered in a new demand for equality, and one that now echoes every June worldwide. But with only about 8% of the population identifying within the LGBTQ umbrella, why has Pride become such a big deal for all of us, all over?

Our educated guess?

Beyond labels, the LGBTQ community fought for their sexual rights, their freedom, and their visibility – and by doing so, also fought for yours!

And in their fight, the LGBTQ community further exposed one of the biggest lies we tell our younger humans, and that’s this:

Man = Masculine vs Woman = Feminine

Wrong-O! Every human being is comprised of both masculine and feminine energies. To the heterosexual shifting in their chair right now, yes, this means you too! My male partner has many masculine traits, but he can also make mean curtains, which doesn’t impact his gender identity at all! Women like Becca Longo can kick the ever-living hell out of a football, and may just be the NFL’s first female kicker! She’s good at what she does beyond the false binary. Period.

Now, those last three innocent sentences I just strung together really put a smile on my face, and I hope they put a smile on yours. But not long ago, even those innocent statements would have raised eyebrows. It is thanks to the LGBTQ community for pushing boundaries, making room for all of us to confidently fit and identify – somewhere. The man who loves dresses, the woman attracted to her female best friend, and the non-binary person who didn’t fit the male or female checkbox aren’t marching for football or curtains. No, the they’re marching to love, be loved, and send a message – you are worth divine love too.

Since Trystology is a sex-positive haven for the community, we have one more big, BIG thank you to share. And O… it’s a big one 😉

THANK YOU FOR MAKING SEX BETTER FOR EVERYONE!!!!

Yes, community. Thank you for making sex better for everyone. You know what happens when an open dialogue starts? About anything? Empathy. Discovery. Growth. Vulnerability. Confidence. Healing. That’s what happens. And over the last 50 years, this dialogue has begged the question:

“What is my sexual preference?”

Lemme tell ya somethin’ right now. That is fucking revolutionary! Our grandparents never asked about this, and neither did a lot of our parents. Men were expected to be men, women were expected to be women, and anything outside of the realm of missionary was downright taboo. And women getting their orgasms?! Pshh, forget it.

This Shari Zinn Harness is stylish, study, elegant, and extremely well-made. The soft leather makes for a snug, confident fit without constant readjusting!

The introduction of, “What is my sexual preference,” was a seed of consent. This neatly wrapped question encourages exploration for those who don’t know how the receive pleasure, and relief for those who do! And that really amped up the sex world. Sturdy, well designed strap-ons became more readily available for everyone, including the hetero couples! Plugs became fun for all genders! The truth came out that if you’re alive, you’ve got pleasure beneath your skin. And better yet, your pleasure is uniquely yours to discover.

The Lovense Hush is without a doubt one of the best vibrating anal plugs on the market. The size and shape provides a luxurious feeling of fullness, while the Lovense motor does the rest. Lovense products have a strong vibration, so this power plug promises to get you there again and again.

(Now, pro-tip. Don’t just go out your front door today asking the world about their sexual preference… No, no. That’s rude. Remember – your discovery is your own to share with whomever you see fit, and that goes for everyone else too. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, people, looks sexy on everyone!)

In closing, one more shout out for the LGBTQ community! We know we’ve said it a lot, but we just won’t stop.

Thank You!

Thank you for being who you are, and giving the world consent to do the same. As human beings, we all cover a vast spectrum of talent, ingenuity, creativity, intelligence, and yes… sexuality. No one person out there is exactly the same as you, and none of us are the same today as we were yesterday. As we continue to grow as a society and world, may this banner wave, and may we all have pride to love beyond labels.

A Valentine’s Sneak Peek of Trystology’s Top-10 Toys!

Hello readers, and welcome back to Trystology Talk Valentine’s edition, part two! We are kicking off Valentine’s weekend with a list of our Top-10 Toys, so if you’re new, lucky you!

Trystology started this “Month of Love” with a simple challenge. You were all invited to somehow prioritize yourselves every day for two weeks, all to prepare for authentic time spent with the ones you love this Valentine’s Day! Our question? How did that go? Would you say it was… easy?

If you did we’re jealous, because prioritizing ourselves wasn’t easy at all! Life moves fast and the truth is, in order to have quality alone time, we have to make it. There were days my only quality time was a thoughtful cup of tea. However, I also found pockets of time throughout the week where I could set time for myself more often. Easy? No. Worth it? You bet! So in light of our collective “ah-ha” moment, we have an idea!

This may sound bold, but after all this quality time reprioritizing the relationship with ourselves, Trystology wants to re-invent Valentine’s Day!

Maybe instead of roses or chocolates for just one day, we could dedicate time to ourselves whenever possible, (especially in February), to better appreciate those closest to us year-round. And yes, we have the ability to make that process sensual! Life is so multi-dimensional, and when we stay connected to ourselves, we can connect honestly with the ones we love! It is feasible to live our busy lives, and introduce romantic escapades, quality time, and even toys to our partners with fierce confidence as ourselves! It’s simply all about making the time.

And here’s a little secret – when we know what we like alone, we’re better equipped to excel in partnered bliss!  

So here it is, the wait is over! We proudly present Trystology’s Top-10 Toys, and wish you and your partner quality time… together!

#1 – Bondage Sets

You may be asking why we started here. Does it vibrate? Nope. Mandate penetration or aggression? Also noooooo! Bondage is all about taking something away to heighten something else, and yes, this comes in varying degrees. It requires consent above all else, because bondage is meant to aid in vulnerability as opposed to ever causing harm to another individual. And whereas flogging, restraints, ball-gags and blindfolds can seem scary, the true benefit of these tools isn’t defined by how brutally they’re used. The measure of their benefit exists within the deep intention of their use. 

As a quick example, let’s explore blindfolds! When we blindfold our partners, or allow them to blindfold us, we invite a heightened level of focus to our sensual experience. The human body is so attuned to knowing our surroundings that when one sense is removed, or hindered, the others heighten! Blindfolds, and other bondage tools, can give couples the opportunity to reconnect and rediscover each other, sweety with some spice so nice. Here are our favorite sets, but we also sell blindfolds galore! Take a browse. 

Top Shelf! Zalo and UpkoLuxurious and Romantic Bondage Kit: This set is luxury, gorgeous, and gilded with gold detail. If you’re seeking sexy Victorian glam, look no further!

#1 Top Ten Toys

Best Value! Rianne S Kinky Me Softly Bondage Set: This set is easy to pack up and doesn’t break the bank!

#2 – Liberator Wedge Pillows

I’d like to ask delicately if you’ve ever been in an intimate position that was… um… difficult to hold? Perhaps, unsteady? Maybe kinda awkward? Well, we all need some cushion for the pushin’ sometimes, and Liberator products are here to save you! We picked the Liberator Wedge Pillows as #2 on our list because of just how much comfort, control, and depth of sensation they provide couples by positioning them comfortably. These pillows are specifically designed to support backs while lifting the goods! They come in cute designs, they’re discrete, they’re strong, super durable, and they help! 

#2 Top Ten Toys

Honestly, just please get one! Please! You will not regret it, we promise!

#3 – Hot Octopus Atom Plus

One of the hardest questions any of us get in the shop is, “What is the best toy?!” The question usually accompanies hopeful eyes. The truth is we all have a different answer because every body is unique. To us, vibrating toys are defined by their type of vibration. As our long-time readers know, not all vibration is created equal! It’s just not. Some rumble, some buzz, some flicker, and all feel great to different people! Hot Octopus products sport a both rumbly and fast vibration all at once, and their Atom Plus does not disappoint.

#3 Top Ten Toys

This tool provides restriction to the penis, vibration to the testicles, and equal vibration to anyone enjoying the ride! The silicone is beautifully made, and my favorite part of this tool is the width of vibration for that cowgirl in you! Even though the Atom Plus is classified as a “cock-ring”,  it’s perfectly designed to vibrate the entire clitoral network of the rider.   

#4 – We-Vibe Moxie

We-Vibe products always find a way into our top recommendations for good reason! Their silicone is supple and smooth, and the vibration varies from low to strong seamlessly. We put the Moxie at #4 on our list because of how flirty it is! Looking to be a tease, or just teased? The We-Vibe Moxie snaps onto the panty-line with a durable magnet. Once in place, pull up those big girl panties and buzz around! You can keep the remote for a sneaky self-pleasured day, or surrender the controls to someone you love!

#4 Top Ten Toys

 

If you’re craving a fun date night, and have or love a clitoris, this toy turns up the heat for a steamy night’s end. 

Trystology Tip: While not all women require clitoral stimulation to achieve climax, most do. And not for, like, a few seconds either. The fact is, it takes a lot of women up to 40 minutes of stimulation to have an orgasm, and tools like this, teasing like this, can help clitoral companions get there faster!  

#5 – Aneros Syn V

We’re talking booty, boo! Ah, the Aneros Syn V. Full disclosure, if we were making a list strictly about anal play, men’s health, or orgasms by direct prostate engagement, this tool would be #1. The Aneros Syn V is designed to vibe directly on the prostate by way of the anus. The silicone is smooth, yet hard, for a steady, strong vibration that won’t quit. 

#5 Top Ten Toys

But Trystology… aren’t there implications to finding anal stimulation pleasurable? What if I’m… straight? 

Well, it’s one thing if anal play isn’t your thing, but men find internal stimulation pleasurable because there’s a lot of nerve endings down there, period. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it! Better yet, internal stimulation with the prostate can cause much more intense orgasms for men while ensuring a fully emptied prostate. Health!

#6 – We-Vibe Tango X

So nice, We-Vibe made it on Trystology’s top ten toys twice! The We-Vibe Tango X is a very versatile tool. It has a rumbly vibration that goes from a steady low to a decent high. The glory of this tool is not in it’s crazy power, however. Rumbly vibrations penetrate the skin, pleasuring deeper nerves, so the Tango X provides pointed vibration for full body chills.

#6 Top Ten Toys

It’s also one of the longest bullet vibrators on the market. It’s a ‘choose-your-own-adventure’ bullet, and we approve!

#7 – Rianne S Plugs

The Rianne S Plugs made #7 on our list for all the right reasons! Even if this type of play makes you squeamish, please read!!

In our humble Trystology opinion, plugs don’t get the credit they deserve, but we understand why! This type of pleasure can seem really intimidating at first! I’ve said it in previous articles, and I’ll say it again… I don’t know you, but say you were standing in front of me, minding your business peacefully. Then, out of nowhere, I lunged at you. I guarantee your sphincter would pucker! Don’t act like it wouldn’t! 

When we are afraid, we tense! And anal play, when done incorrectly, can be incredibly uncomfortable. However, when done correctly, (by ensuring trust, consent and optimal arousal, using lube, relaxing, etc), anal play can take any sex life to the next level! These plugs made our top ten toys list because they can stimulate prostates just as effectively as they can stimulate g-spots! 

#7 Top Ten Toys

Rianne S. uses very soft silicone, and provides sets to steadily graduate the size of your plug if you want, and at your pace. They also offer gold metal plugs, allowing more advanced users to explore internal pressures and temp variations. And they’re so cute!

#8 – SpareParts Joque Harness

Here at Trystology, we completely understand the importance of finding a good harness. Strapping up can be so fun, so empowering, so intimate, but if the harness isn’t secure and comfortable, fully embracing your sexy self can be tough. So without further ado, we introduce the Joque Harness to our top ten toys list!

#8 Top Ten Toys

At #8, the SpareParts Joque Harness ensures the security you need for the passionate play you crave. The O-Ring is interchangeable, giving the wearer options regarding dildo sizes. Our favorite part of this harness is the sneaky pocket, perfectly made for bullets or vibes, so the wearer can give and receive. 

#9 – Vixen Creations Maverick VixSkin – Tie Bright

We can’t say enough good about VixSkin products, and since they’re here at #9, we’re thrilled to tell you why. The silicone used to create VixSkin dildos is supreme! These products are smooth yet sturdy, and beautifully shaped for thoroughly enjoyed fullness! And that’s not all…

#9 Top Ten Toys

Sure, a nice, realistic dildo is great, and this company creates many, but they also create products on the wild side… and this is important! Let’s face it! Some people love penises, real in all of their splendor, and others don’t! We picked this beautiful Tie Bright design to showcase a beautiful dildo that doesn’t take itself so seriously! If you’re looking for fullness, a smooth feel, and some delightful fun, the Maverick Tie Bright is one of our favorites!

#10 – An Authentic, Well-Taken Care of YOU!

#10 YOU!

We know this last one is cheeky, but authentic love requires all of you! Even if no toys ever make their way to your partnered or un-partnered bedroom, your creativity, desire, and presence will always belong to you. We at Trystology encourage you to foster relationships which encourage you to cultivate, renew, and remind yourself of the love you crave, and the life you strive to lead! This especially includes your relationship with yourself! Share that authentically!

“But Trystology, we’re busy!” Yeah, yeah, we are too. We’re not saying that here in 2022, it’s simple to make time for ourselves, our partners, or our passions. We’re just saying it’s necessary. So this Valentine’s Day, give the gift of time. Time to yourself and those you love doesn’t happen by magic. Like all things in life, these things happen when we plan for them. So plan to live a smile-worthy life! And start today!

Oh… and please, please make time for your orgasm. Own it! Self-love is the gift that keeps on giving, and Trystology wishes you and your partner abundance, joy, connected intimacy, and a very Happy Valentine’s Day!

Trystology would like to say a special thank you to AVN!!!!

AVN, (The Adult Video Network), has nominated Trystology as 2022’s Best Boutique!! In the NATION!! We don’t know how well you know the industry, but this is a HUGE HONOR!

First, congratulations to our very own Roylin Downs! None of this is possible without you, and you have uplifted your staff along with your community. You’ve changed our lives, enabling us to give the love you teach. Thank you, Roylin <3


And to our loyal customers, new and old, this really isn’t possible without you! We strive to give you the best only as a reminder that you deserve the best. Because you do, in all areas of your life! But only if you believe it.

We know you’re worth it, always! And we love you, Valentine! <3

Gender Beyond the Binary

Hey there, Trystology here in celebration of National Non-Binary People’s Day!

{Record Skip}

National what?!

Yeah! Happy National Non-Binary People’s Day! Words matter, and our use of them has vastly fluctuated throughout history. We at Trystology believe it’s time our language around sexuality follows suit! Words are powerful communication tools, and their meanings/our understandings of them shape our realities. For example, how do you define gender? How about manhood, or womanhood? Can you point to them? And what happens when your identification with gender expands past our already fragile societal norms and vocabulary?

Also, why is this blog post possibly our most important this year? I’m going to cut out of my normal writer’s voice for a moment to answer this first. People are dying, folks. All over the world millions have lost their lives to Covid-19, and even amid all of that loss and sadness we’re seeing more non-binary and trans lives lost due to ignorance than ever. It’s only July, and 2021 already accounts for more trans murders than all of 2019, and most are Black and Latina women. Even more lives are lost to suicide, and astoundingly more are ostracized from political, cultural, even medical representation.

This article is unapologetically about gender, and the language we use to describe it. Historically, we are more than ‘man’ or ‘woman’, or ‘male’ or ‘female.’ The word gender inherently surpasses society’s understanding of it, and we are here to discuss why the world, and the orgasm, extend past the binary.  

To our non-binary, trans, non-gendered, genderqueer, intersex community and more, we thank you, we welcome you, and we hope this article does you proud!

Binary, and Beyond!

It’s no surprise that as a bipedal species with two outward facing eyes, feet, hands, and ears that we would settle and find comfort with mere duality. However, the idea that there are only two neatly boxed up genders is a common and dangerous misconception. Always has been. Simply put, its false. For instance, Intersex folks have always existed and have been both ostracized and exalted in high societies and religious practices.

Non-binary is a term for those who don’t identify completely with “man” or “woman”, or “male” or “female.” Many don’t find home within these terms at all. Instead, some feel blends of both, some feel something altogether different, while intersex people are born with anatomical or reproductive systems outside of the strict male or female classification. Other terms for non-binary include genderqueer, agender, trans, non-gendered, and more. While none of these terms mean the same to everyone, they all speak to an experience of gender beyond male or female.

And even though non-binary is a new term, this experience has written historical relevance pre-dating the Middle Ages!

Practicing Proper Pronouns

Okay, so we know there’s more than male or female. We know. So how can we honor the experience of our non-binary family in society, culture, and the legislature governing both? Although we have a long way to go, we can simply start with the proper use of pronouns! Many who identify outside the already false binary prefer the use of they/them/their when being referred to in society. But how do we know when to use these pronouns? And what if we make mistakes?

In every article we’ve written about sexuality, Trystology has emphasized the importance of communication. The same applies here! Non-binary people are just people, and have been in our lives forever whether we’ve known it or not. In order to know how someone identifies, all we have to do is ask! Sure, this is a new conversation, but we are living within a time of revolution, transition, and change. Our courage now to respect one another and to empathize with others’ experiences can start with, “Hi friend, which pronouns do you prefer?” We then make the effort to respectfully adhere to the work an individual has put into knowing themselves. Will we make mistakes? Undoubtedly. But asking about pronouns is a way to grant visibility to those beyond the binary, and representation matters. Language has changed before, it’s changing again, and we will survive.

Questions Everyone Should Avoid…

Whereas open discussions aid society’s understanding of the non-binary experience, some questions are flat out rude, such as, “Have you… transitioned?” or “Do you still have a penis/vagina?” C N Lester, in Trans Like Me, speaks on this in a way that cuts right to the heart of the issue. Whether each of us knows someone openly non-binary or not, chances are good we all know a mom. When women give birth, we ask kind questions. “How are you and the baby?” or simply, “Congratulations!” The process of birth is intimate and unlike any other. It can be messy, painful, and complex. A mother may choose to describe her experience of labor to family member or friend, but for a stranger to ask how severely someone’s vagina tore giving birth would certainly be unacceptable and offensive… period. The same is true of asking about anyone’s genitalia. Not. Your. Business! And it’s certainly not anyone’s obligation to answer!

My. Family.

To pop out of my writer’s voice once more, I want to thank a specific member of my family for aiding in my understanding of this issue. Out of respect for them, they will remain nameless. However, in order to write this article properly, I asked them for a personal interview. I was honored when they agreed and was astounded at how much I too had to learn. Here are some points they shared with me.

They were identified as male at birth yet began dressing in women’s clothing from the laundry hamper in secret at age four. Pediatricians now estimate that children understand their gender and gender expression by exactly this age. For the cisgender folks reading, (those who identify with the sex they were assigned at birth), I ask you to imagine the mental toll of learning to hide your true gender from family and society so young. As a teacher, this breaks my heart. I’m happy to say that in their sixties, my family member has finally found support, a community, and safety within it. Home, you might say. And to this member of my family, I love you, I am proud of you, and I thank you for everything you have taught me.

At the end of my interview with them, I asked, “What, if any, advice would you give to the younger you?”

“I would tell them to go ahead and do what makes them happy.” They went on to say, “I’ve spent my entire life being what other people wanted me to be, you know? A real man, or whatever the hell that is. I took care of my kids financially, I had the nice house, you know. I’ve been there for my family when they were sick and stuff. But now it’s my turn. I finally feel entitled to make myself happy.”

I then asked, “What have you learned by having the support of your peers?”

Their emphatic response? “Be honest. I’m a firm believer that it may be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier as you go.”

I could hear in their voice that honesty meant much more than being open to others. It meant, first and foremost, gaining the comfortability and confidence to be honest with themselves.

Now for the Goods!

So finally… can non-binary people have sex? YES!! Non-binary, trans, intersex people and more have orgasms, and the biological make-up to do so. Just as most men and women navigate their orgasms differently, the same can be true for those who identify as non-binary. Here, family, are some of our favorite toys to rock, flaunt, and enjoy your beautiful selves!

The Toy Chest

Strap ons!

For the transmasculine community who haven’t undergone phalloplasty, strap-ons offer a great way to penetrate partners, and have been around for hundreds, yes hundreds, of years. Here at Trystology we offer a wide array from natural to spacey to honor every desired size, look, and feel. We also carry underwear style harnesses fit for a natural look, and perfect for packing! Strap-ons can suit transfeminine people as well. Estrogen therapy can take a toll on someone’s ability to maintain an erection and strapping up can provide a way to have sex while avoiding dysphoria or any contact with the genitals. For those who have undergone vaginoplasty, strap-ons can still be used the same way cisgender women use them today. No matter how you top, here’s a list of our top faves.

Let’s Vibe it Out!

Vibrators, specifically vibrating wands, are awesome for everyone. The reason? They offer a larger area of vibration that suits all kinds of genitalia. Wand vibrators do not require an erection and are strong enough to be used through clothing. Smaller bullet vibes can also be used for muffing, a sexual act stimulating the inguinal canals of transfeminine women.  

Rings and Things

Cock-rings, whether those that vibrate or those that don’t, can be used by both the transmasculine and transfeminine. For those undergoing estrogen therapy, the use of cock-rings at the base of the penis, or around the penis and testicles, can aid in maintaining an erection for a longer period of time. For those post-phalloplasty, vibrating cock rings can be used to heighten sensation to the back base of the penis.

Dilators

For our post vaginoplasty fam, dilators are a must, and it’s recommended to use them twice daily for up to fifteen minutes. This exercise will maintain surgical depth while healing from surgery, and can ensure the success of your procedure. Here’s our a list of medical grade, top of line dilators for you.

Off the Shelf

Without these amazing authors, this article would not have been possible. If you’re looking to understand the non-binary gender, a loved one, or yourself, here are the good reads we recommend.

In Conclusion…

I encourage you, reader, to look up the definition of gender. Its origin is sexless, and simply means “membership of a word or a grammatical form in such a subclass.” In laymen’s terms, the word gender helps us define parts of the whole. We are all parts of the whole. Black, Latin, Asian, White, Indigenous, L, G, B, T, Q, I, A, 2, and PLUS! Collectively we give breath, voice, and life to the rainbow of Earth. At least within this human experience, we can consciously choose to do so. The most courageous and important journey any of us undertake is the one toward self-understanding, and to that we at Trystology encourage all genders to flaunt proudly! As we brave making mistakes navigating this expanding world and vocabulary, let’s own those mistakes together. And if you’ve got a problem with that, we kindly ask you to… go have an orgasm.

Stand Up and Strap Up for Pride with Trystology!

June is Pride month, and here at Trystology we support our LGBTQIA+ community in celebration of everyone’s right to sexually express themselves without fear. And although Pride events cater to those who feel their sexuality may fall outside of the mainstream, this movement’s voice has inspired a global and united front to overcome prejudice by promoting self-acceptance and discovery. Ya know, light itself is comprised of a rainbow spectrum, and Pride month serves as a reminder to us all to embrace the fullness of our spectral, sexual selves! Thankfully, Trystology has you covered with this months LGBTQIA+ tips, high end toys, and tricks to proudly celebrate all month long. Strap up, folks, and here we go!

Let’s start with the history. The very first Pride Parade was held in 1970 to commemorate the Stonewall Uprising of June 28th, 1969, where N.Y.C.’s West Village gay and lesbian community bravely rose together to protest and fight against ignorance and police brutality. The Stonewall bar catered to New York’s marginalized queer community, a community vehemently outcast right before and after the New York City World’s Fair in 1964. When police raided the Stonewall, they were met with a clear message – the LGBT community didn’t want to be cast aside anymore. It’s with this sentiment that June has become a month of acceptance and celebration of individual uniqueness– biologically, racially, politically, emotionally, and yes… sexually!

You may be seeking clarification on the difference between LGBT and LGBTQIA+, and if so, here we go. The LGBT acronym stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender, but LGBTQIA+ includes those who identify as queer, intersex, asexual and anything in-between. Queer is generally used as a broader term for those who identify as non-straight, intersex refers to those whose sex is less defined due to genetic or biological differences, while asexuals seek an intimacy with life void of sex. Other terms often used include gender-fluid, poly, and “monogomish.” The fact is, no matter your sexual preference, regular intimacy supports a healthy immune system by naturally regulating cortisol levels to manage stress. As far as Trystology’s concerned, we all deserve the sacred pleasure our bodies have in store for us! So, from boas or candles for proud LGBT parents, to top of line intimate toys for any encounter, Trystology is proud to provide merchandise unique to however intimacy is defined by you!

And now… THE LIST!

P-Spot or G-Spot?!                                            

Let’s talk about it! Across the spectrum, men and women have intricate biology and pleasure centers. The prostate, or P-spot, is a small muscular gland that produces seminal fluid, and when stimulated anally or behind the testicles, can significantly increase the orgasms of cisgender men. The Grafenberg spot, or G-Spot, is located inside a woman’s vaginal wall toward the belly button, and as an extension of the clitoral network, swells when aroused. Stimulating these areas on partners can be exciting, ooh so fun, and beneficial to our overall health! Added bonus –Trystology carries tools and toys which double as G-Spot and P-Spot vibrators! So how and where do we begin?

Well, if prostate engagement is the goal, have you ever gotten lost only to find a back road home? To stimulate the prostate, we must journey to the magical, anal realm. The prostate is located inside the body, between the anus and testicles. For those new to the game, we recommend starting low and slow.

And if G-Spot engagement is the goal, think up and in. The G-Spot is engaged by a “come here” motion, and yes, is part of the clitoral network. Believe it or not, the clitoris is much more than the pea-sized button where the inner labia meet. The clitoris actually divides into two separate roots of nerves, usually about four inches long, coming together at the inner wall of the vagina. G-Spot engagement can cause female ejaculation for cisgender women while promoting vaginal orgasms.

This list of high end tools highlights vibration for anal or vaginal insertion to feel the buzz , inside-out!

A vibrating g-spot or prostate stimulator that moves back and forth to beckon you toward the absolute pinnacle of prostate pleasure, and thanks to its innovative WaveMotion™ technology, LOKI Wave™ is the ultimate pleasure product, curling in a beckoning, ‘come-hither’ motion for the most satisfying internal massage.
The 10 satisfying vibrating settings from two perfectly placed motors for simultaneous internal and external massage make it the perfect life-changing orgasmic experience.

In a world-first design, INA Wave is inspired by the caress of a lover’s fingers. It surges with a natural “come-hither” motion to massage your G-Spot or P-Spot while powerful clitoral/perineum stimulation creates a blended climax. Lose yourself in waves of uncontrollable pleasure.

Arc is made for exploring. Its bulb has a pleasant squish, with a beaked ridge for targeted vibes on the vulva or g-spot. Warm-up externally, then dive in! Arc’s handle has the perfect length and curve to give you just the right angles, without straining the hand or wrist. Enjoy different motions, like rocking, rotating, steady nestling, and sliding in and out.

The prostate orgasm is the biggest, most intense orgasm a man can experience, and the remote-controlled HUGO is perfectly designed to offer entirely new avenues of sexual satisfaction. With 8 settings and exclusive SenseMotion technology, HUGO is all set to become the play-partner you’ve been waiting for.

With rumbling vibrations that target both the prostate and the perineum, Vector leads the way to sensations that go beyond anything experienced before. Designed for comfort with an adjustable head and flexible base, Vector hits all the right spots. Vector is also 100% waterproof, and thanks to WeVibe’s Free Connect app, can be managed from anywhere in the world.

In 2012 Aneros introduced the Helix Syn™. Featuring the perfect combination of responsiveness and focused stimulation paired with the comfort and elegance of silicone, the Helix Syn™ went on to become the most popular hands-free male G spot massager in the world. Today we proudly present the Helix Syn™ Trident, the synthesis of our newest Trident series innovations with our most luxuriant velvet touch silicone yet. The Helix Syn™ Trident powerfully amplifies encounters with a partner, and takes solo exploration to the level of multi-orgasmic ecstasy.

Mini butt plug with an easy insertion tip. Base flares out for an easy to remove or keep in place feature. Offers 15 different vibration speeds for any mood or preference! 

Strap-up for Strap-ons!

Strap-ons and dildos can be the perfect addition to any couples play, and Trystology provides a spectral, high end selection! For partners seeking penetration without the penis, we have an array of comfortable harnesses, clitoris engaging bumpers, and dildos ranging from realistic to spacey. Whatever your size preference we guarantee to have what you need!

Calexotics made this harness for powerful play. The straps are easy and adjustable, and beautifully compliment this crotchless design. The ring diameter measures 2”, perfect for most dildos. This vegan leather product won’t disappoint!

The BellaÂŞ couture lingerie harness creates a sophisticated and dramatic silhouette, with delicate lace, a cascading bow, and a peek of rear cleavage. It wicks away moisture and has two internal mini-vibe pockets that securely fit toys 1.25 to 2.25 inches in diameter. Sturdy and flexible, BellaÂŞ will not lose its shape even with frequent use.

The DeuceÂŞ is a harness specifically designed for men. It assists in prolonging foreplay and maintaining an erection, and features a belt and adjustable leg straps. Its elastic O-ring expands and contracts to fit a variety of dildos and can also accommodate a mini vibe for additional pleasure. Included is a lightweight storage pouch with two pockets.

Shagger is Banana Pant’s newest dildo base stimulation cover! Inspired by the ocean Bumpher wants everyone to ride these waves of pleasure! Uniquely contoured, the soft succulent tips bend and flow with them, touching and titillating with every move. Cover the base with the Shagger for a ride of connection, sensation and stimulation. Without a dildo they can use as a manual stimulator alone or with a partner.

Long, smooth, and sleek. The Mistress dildo has multiple uses from vaginal to anal pleasure. Silicone dildo is made of premium silicone. Mistress vibe comes with a bullet vibrator that can be inserted in the base for extra stimulation. One of the most popular models by Vixen Creations!

Measures 6 x 1.25 inches

Though created for lesbians and guys who are female to male trans gendered, about 80% are purchased by heterosexual couples. Everyone is enjoying these Patented pleasure toys! Men with erectile dysfunction problems are using FeelDoe as prosthetics. Gay men have discovered that FeelDoe are ideally practical for solo play. One way or another, this fabulous invention is pleasing everyone worldwide!

Wands for the Wizard in You

Wands are long known ah-mazing tools meant for all types of sexual play. Trystology carries a spectrum of wands for her, for him, and for sharing. Some of our wands, like the Wand by WeVibe, are 100% waterproof, while others plug in with multiple attachments. If you’re seeking power, check out this list of favorites!

The most advanced (and powerful) cordless massager ever with playful attachments, responsive technologies and an ergonomic design that take it way beyond basics. Seamless intensity control can take you from 0 to 100 (and anywhere in between) with one touch. The one-touch control acts like a dimmer switch, keeping you in the moment without distraction. Wand’s ergonomic design, playful attachments and the We-Connect app make it the perfect fit for couples or you can keep it all to yourself for an epic night in.

Simple and Powerful. The Man Wand Xtreme is a stimulator kit designed for men and couples. Man Wand – Xtreme has two flexible flaps on the massagers head that can hold a penis of most any size while the textured silicone optimizes the vibrations and pleasurable stimulation.

The powerful vibrations of Man Wand can be enjoyed with or without an erection and users can customize their pleasure, taking full advantage of 3 powerful speeds and 5 scintillating patterns of vibration.

The Doxy is the world’s most powerful plug-in wand massager. Offering powerful vibrations that penetrate deep into the body, it’s extraordinarily effective when used as a body massager, or for intimate intentions. While many find themselves satisfied with the lower settings, the Doxy can reach up to 9,000 RPM: it’s the perfect tool for those who want the option to play hard and fast.

Doxy is the only wand massager with a controlled pulse setting. Taking the rumbly vibrations from low, to high and back again and at variable speed settings, it really adds a whole new dimension to your experience.

Please Be a Tease!

Along with our vast collection of power tools, Trystology carries many tools meant to tease and increase sensation during love-making. These tools can increase communication with a partner or loved one while ensuring sexy communication and exploration.

The We-Vibe Touch is a powerful clitoral vibe with 8 vibration modes created from silky-soft medical grade silicone. Body-safe and hypoallergenic, the Touch is free from phthalates, latex, and BPA. It is 100 percent waterproof, making it versatile and easy to clean with soap and water, and lasts for up to 2 hours on a single charge. Use only with water-based lubricants.

Ergonomically designed to target the prostate, the NJoy Pfun Plug delivers firm, controlled massage. Whether manually controlled or activated with the user’s own muscles in ‘hands-off’ mode, the Pfun Plug prods the P-spot with precision.

Thank You!

To our followers and clients, thank you for your courage to deeply love, appreciate and own the pleasure of your unique body. Without the LGBTQIA+ community, we couldn’t understand the vastness of pleasure available to us all. Everyone deserves to explore the intimacy inherent to them, and Trystology is here to support you along you journey, wherever it may lead.

Happy Pride!

For Health’s Sake, Man, Own That Orgasm! ;)

Gentlemen of all ages, start your engines! June is Men’s Health Month, and Trystology is here to inform, inspire and support the men in our lives to confidently own their orgasms, for health’s sake! Yep, you read it correctly. It’s true that a sexy man is a healthy man, and in order to maintain optimal health, both mentally and physically, the men we love need to unload! So whether you’re a penis owner, admirer, or both, Trystology has the high end toys and researched tips to ride toward good health in style. Giddy-up, Cowboy!

Now, let’s get right into it. The past few years haven’t been awesome for the overall image of men. The #MeToo movement was certainly necessary, and gave a voice to silenced women worldwide, but does a man’s sexuality inherently make him a threat? Absolutely not! Good men exist all over the world, and like all of us, deserve the throws of their O’s, with or without a partner. In fact, it’s science! Men who orgasm frequently significantly lower their chances of developing prostate cancer and erectile dysfunction, or ED. Do we have your attention now? Read on, dude!

We’ll start by demystifying manhood…

We know female genitalia is beautifully cloaked in complexity and mystery, but to say men are simple in comparison is misguided and misinformed.  And even though the penis is naturally designed for awe inspiring pleasure, a man’s nether region is much more than just his shaft! Major players of the male reproductive system include his penis, testicles, prostate, and mind, but the possibilities for providing, even increasing pleasure to these areas is infinite, and important to a man’s overall wellbeing.

The scary fact is prostate cancer has risen to the second most common form of cancer found in the US. Nearly one out of eleven men will develop prostate cancer throughout their lives, and this rise in illness led Harvard to study men of all ages consistently for 18 years. Throughout the study, doctors monitored how often their patients were getting it on and found men who ejaculated an average of 21 times per month lowered their risk of cancer by 33%. We encourage you to read that sentence again… 33%! Erectile dysfunction is even more common, lending some validity to the old adage, “use it or lose it.” That’s nothing to turn your head and cough at, especially when more pleasure could keep you safe.

Owning Anal Play Could Keep the Doctor Away!

As previously mentioned, referring to the male make-up as simple is just false. Seminal fluid is produced in the prostate, which is located inside cisgender men between the anus and the testicles. It gently wraps around the urethra, contracts to ejaculate semen from the body upon climax, and oooh, by the way, when stimulated can increase the intensity of your man’s O by 80%! So how do we invite prostate play to the party?

There are two ways to stimulate the prostate during lovemaking – internally and externally. Option number one causes many hetero men to clench, so let’s take a collective deep breath to discuss anal. Ah yes, men all over the world receive massive pleasure from anal stimulation, no matter how they sexually identify! The anus is loaded with nerve endings sensitive to touch, tongues, and vibration. Just inside are two sphincters, followed by the rectum. It’s here, just a few inches in, where we can pleasure the prostate with a well lubed finger or toy, coupled by a gentle “come here,” motion. Here at Trystology, we recognize this action is comfortable for some while not for others, so if you’re still warming up to the idea, engaging the perineum may sound like a more enticing route. The perineum is the nerve-ending haven of skin between the anus and testicles, and when stimulated can provide extraordinary pleasure, whether tongued or tickled. Engaging the perineum adds the cherry on top to any hand job, blow job, or intimate encounter. What to use, you ask? Here’s our list of favorites:

The Njoy Pure Wand provides superior G- or P-Spot stimulation. Its design features perfect curvature and ample reach for comfort.
* Length: 8 inches
* Tip Diameter: 1 inch
* Base Diameter: 1.5 inches
* Weight: 1.5 pounds
Njoy’s most versatile design, the Fun Wand provides a plethora of sensual possibilities. Ideal alone or with a partner, the Fun Wand is great fun for combined oral and G-spot stimulation, or flip the toy (and your partner!) over and use the graduated bulbs to give them the anal treat you know they deserve…
* Length: 8 inches
* Tip Diameter: 1 inch
* Base Diameter: 0.75 inches
* Weight: 12 ounces
With rumbling vibrations that target both the prostate and the perineum, Vector leads the way to sensations that go beyond anything experienced before. Designed for comfort with an adjustable head and flexible base, Vector hits all the right spots.
In 2012 Aneros introduced the Helix Syn™. Featuring the perfect combination of responsiveness and focused stimulation paired with the comfort and elegance of silicone, the Helix Syn™ went on to become the most popular hands free male G spot massager in the world. Today we proudly present the Helix Syn™ Trident, the synthesis of our newest Trident series innovations with our most luxuriant velvet touch silicone yet. The Helix Syn™ Trident powerfully amplifies encounters with a partner and takes solo exploration to the level of multi-orgasmic ecstasy.


Each Aneros Progasm Ice is a one-of-a-kind. The production process creates a unique air bubble, making each one unlike any other. The sleek design provides an intense prostate massage backed by our patented hands-free design. Just like the original Progasm, this famous prostate stimulator has an overwhelming reputation for being the best p-spot massagers ever invented. They were scientifically developed to massage the prostate gland and the perineum, which greatly enhances sensitivity and sexual function. Ergonomically designed to improve/ induce orgasms for men.
Progasm has the most girth to its design and is considered the most advanced design in the evolution of male g-spot stimulators.
With 8 settings and exclusive SenseMotion technology, HUGO is all set to become the playpartner you’ve been waiting for.
USB-rechargeable and 100% waterproof, this expertly sized pleasure object deeply massages the prostate, while a secondary motor in the base stimulates the perineum for overwhelming stimulation.
1 – WAVEMOTION™ TECHNOLOGY
LOKI Wave™ features a beckoning, ‘come-hither’ motion on top of its deep, satisfying vibrations.
2 – RIDE WAVES OF PLEASURE
The first massager capable of surging within you for intense self-prostate stimulation.
3 – MORE POWER FOR MORE PLEASURE
Two motors to accurately target the prostate and perineum for more explosive climaxes.
The DeuceÂŞ is a harness specifically designed for men. It assists in prolonging foreplay and maintaining an erection, and features a belt and adjustable leg straps. Its elastic O-ring expands and contracts to fit a variety of dildos and can also accomodate a mini vibe for additional pleasure. Included is a lightweight storage pouch with two pockets.
The BellaÂŞ couture lingerie harness creates a sophisticated and dramatic silhouette, with delicate lace, a cascading bow, and a peek of rear cleavage. It wicks away moisture and has two internal mini-vibe pockets that securely fit toys 1.25 to 2.25 inches in diameter. Sturdy and flexible, BellaÂŞ will not lose its shape even with frequent use.

He’s Going the Distance!

If longevity in lovemaking or maintaining an erection is your current primary focus, Trystology has tools and tips for that too! Facts are facts, and both erectile dysfunction and impotence are common, common, common, so it’s important to remember that the mind is everyone’s primary sex organ. When any of us are stressed, depressed, or just frazzled, arousal can seem impossible! Our first recommendation is always don’t give up! Some studies have shown that when men self-pleasure, they often follow a tried and true routine. Believe it or not, that same old routine can be the cause of desensitization or just plain old boredom. Switch it up!! Also, if you’re coupled up, talk to your partner. Vulnerability alone can lead to new, exciting pathways to pleasure, but we can’t get there if we don’t talk about it. Whether solo or buddied up, here are some of Trystology’s favorites to keep you long, strong, and satisfied.

The perfect combo toy! The We-Vibe Verge is a prostate massager and a vibrating ring! It’s also remote controlled and blue-tooth enabled! Waterproof to boot! Perfectly contoured to stimulate the perineum during any activity.
It’s made from our new PLUS +SILICONE™ so it has the strength and stretch you need but the warmth and softness of smooth silicone.
Best of all, the super soft material makes for a comfortable fit and feel for hours of fun. 
BIG OX is so squishy and rubbery, it stretches to fit all shapes n’ sizes.
Super-soft, flexible and powerful, The Mio ring will keep him harder for longer, and give her intense external vibration during sex. Share stronger, longer, simultaneous orgasms with your partner using Mio.
* Waterproof
* Rechargeable
A comfortable and perfectly-fitting vibrating couple’s ring worn by men when making love, TOR™ 2 enhances the sensations of sex for both partners. The fully-waterproof design also features an easy-to-use control interface and 6 stimulation modes, always delivering the most thrilling sensations in bedroom play. As always with LELO, every TOR™ 2 comes in a beautiful gift box with satin storage pouch and full one-year warranty.
Intensify the pleasure for both of you with the best vibrating cock ring available.
Featuring a large, ergonomically shaped contact area for grinding against, and a raised nub to add pressure and stimulation, Atom Plus’ design means both partners can experience the powerful vibrations during penetrative sex.
Atom Plus is slipped over both the shaft and testacles in order to provide additional, intense perineum stimulation via its second integrated motor. 
Using the finest materials yet and cutting edge technology, TENGA is proud to present the latest in Male Pleasure Technology, the Flip 0 (Zero). Featuring the most intricate internal details yet, the Flip Zero provides amazing sensations and utilizes the pioneering “Flip-Open” design that makes cleaning the product fast and easy. The seamless insertion point provides the perfect seal, preventing lubricant leakage and forming a strong vacuum made possible the one-way valve. Easier to hold and use than the standard Flip Hole, the Flip Zero’s pressure pads are soft to the touch and allow for greater stimulation. The Flip Zero is also a great way to build stamina.

Happy Ending, We Hope!

Congrats, men, you made it to the end! We know some topics may have felt scary or uncomfortable to read, but we at Trystology encourage all men, and their lovers, to take their health seriously! The benefits of regular climaxing aren’t limited to the body, as they include the mind as well.  Orgasms provide a life enhancing elixir of oxytocin to manage stress, dopamine to encourage joy, prolactin for better sleep, and vasopressin to relieve pain. To the men in our lives, we love you, and want your life to match how incredible we think you are. You’re worth your pleasure, and we honor the healthy, sexy, you.

Also, um… got time for a quickie?!

SpareParts Tomboi II Boxer Brief Harness

By popular demand, SpareParts introduces the versatile Tomboi II.

Just this past August at the Ventura Pride, a customer came up to me in our booth and asked me “Are they here yet?!?  When is SpareParts doing boxer harnesses? I NEED one.”  I couldn’t have been more pleased to text her a picture from the trade show in September that we didn’t need to wait any longer!  For those of you who “don’t want to be caught without it,” there is the Tomboi, until now only an underwear style harness that is both comfortable and practical.  However, starting NOW, SpareParts has brought to market the new Tomboi II Boxer Harness!  It has GREAT stylings, comfortable fit, and they’ve thought of EVERYTHING.  With the bullet pockets, and double hole option, and packer ready, these new boxers are going to be practical for so many occasions!  I love the Black and Red and Purple with Black options in Nylon, but there will also be Rayon in all Black, which will be the equivalent of the Modal that is carried in the Tomboi regular brief line.  Take a peek here to see what’s here!

Tres and her team at SpareParts have created an incredible line that covers the bases.  What can I say?  Of all the harnesses out there, we have been so pleased to carry the SpareParts harnesses, with their quality and versatile options, you are certainly not going to be “caught without a spare”!  Whether you’re looking for a practical everyday-use harness, Joque or Theo are it, or a super sexy, feminine style harness, like the Sasha or Belle… where you can wear gartered stockings with it!  Wow!

Having seen these boxers on, they are not only really good looking as a pair of boxers, they are so dang practical!  Perfect for packing, or as a harness!  Pockets for bullets!  and OHHHH so comfortable!  In sizes from XS to 5X!  These boxers are truly amazing!

Check them out online at www.trystology.com

Shiri Zinn Black Harness – US Exclusive!

Finally, The Shiri Zinn Harness in Black!

Ever since we opened the store, first as Kama Sutra Closet in 2009, now Trystology, we have carried Shiri Zinn’s incredibly soft Lambskin Harnesses!  With the delicate beading and adjustable style, are some of the most feminine harnesses available on the market!  I loved it when I was told by a vendor that these harnesses were the “heterosexual ‘wanna-be'” harnesses, as I have to admit, it’s probably true.  Though I have had many lesbian customers who love this harness! For truly durable, everyday harnesses, we sell the Spareparts harnesses… but for the women who want to feel soft and sexy and have that “rawr” saucy look, we have the Shiri Zinn harness. And one of the most amazing things is that whether you are a size “0” or “16” you can wear this harness!  You see, sexy has no size!

Shiri Zinn’s philosophy is that “it is only through quality that we can challenge prejudices and preconceived notions about sexuality. [She] intend to challenge these prejudices and uncover unexpected glamour in this marketplace through the medium of design.” Thus we have been blessed with some of her most amazing works.  The Red and Pink Harnesses and Ceramic Dildos have survived the years, and have become some of our most  unique and popular items in the store.
Shiri Zinn harness pink front Shiri Zinn harness pink back Shiri Zinn harness red front Shiri Zinn harness red back

Every now and then over the years, a customer would come in and ask, “Can I get this in Black?”  I’d respond with “Wouldn’t that be amazing!  I’ll see…” and finally, Shiri and I were able to make this happen!  Coming in the Fall 2015, we will be receiving this amazing harness in BLACK!  The thing for me is that there are no other harnesses out on the market that are made in as soft a leather, as feminine a style and as darn sexy as this Shiri Zinn harness… and now in Black!  It will soon become part of any worthy lingerie collection, because this harness could be considered one of the most sexy crotchless panties available.  Have you seen the way that it frames the bottom?  It will also be one of the most sought after harnesses for partner play.

Shiri Zinn harness black
Shiri Zinn harness beads front
Shiri Zinn harness black front

Whether it’s worn with Mimi Crystal Pasties, Bijoux Indescretes Reusable Pasties and Kixie’s thigh high stockings, or some amazing lingerie as an accent, this Shiri Zinn Harness in Black is sure to be a show stopper!  We are proud to say that we have the US Exclusive on selling this unique harness.  It will be available in Mid-October to Early November, just in time for the holidays!

You can Reserve your Shiri Zinn Black Harness for $179 at www.trystology.com.  They’ll be here before you know it!

Sexy SpareParts Bella Courture Harness Lingerie

SpareParts HardWear has outdone itself with their new offering, the Bella Couture Harness Lingerie!  Self described as:

“…distinctly dangerous blend of sensuality, sophistication, and drama—and the most intoxicating lingerie harness in our line. With her, everything smolders: delicate stretchable lace, a cascading bow, and the perfect peek of rear cleavage. Bella cuts a stunning silhouette—and casts a spell impossible to shake.”

It’s hard not to see the beauty, sensuality and intoxication in her design, lines and silhouette.  Here are the pictures of this new “smoldering” beauty!

SpareParts Bella Couture Harness Lingerie

SpareParts Bella Couture Harness Lingerie

SpareParts Bella Couture Harness Lingerie, back

SpareParts Bella Couture Harness Lingerie, back

As SpareParts describes “Bella cuts a stunning silhouette—and casts a spell impossible to shake. The durable O-ring allows the wearer to choose from single or double dildos in perfect comfort without losing its shape. Bella’s breathable, barely-there fabric is luxuriously soft and ideal for all-day wear. From the midnight rendezvous to the morning motorcycle ride, Bella’s ready.”

We are so pleased to offer the entire line of SpareParts Harnesses at Trystology. You can see them at www.trystology.com