In this podcast episode, Roylin explores the “vanilla” side of sexuality. Vanilla can come in so many variations, and not all vanilla relationships are created equal. Urbandictionary.com defines Vanilla Sex as Sex that involves no twists or kinkiness, and no S&M. Basically plain regular sex. Typically sweet and happy and very lovey-dovey.
Like most of what Roylin teaches at Trystology, each person chooses for himself or herself what is right for them. It’s interesting that not even Roylin’s 25-year-old son agrees with the concept that Roylin is “heterosexual, monogamous and vanilla” as she claims. He feels she is breaking the code of vanilla by introducing sex toys into the relationship.
Roylin challenges him to consider that adding a toy to insure a woman achieves an orgasm isn’t beyond the boundaries of vanilla sex! Why does vanilla sex have to be devoid of pleasures or orgasm? So, Roylin took to Facebook to survey whether vanilla could include a toy or not. There were many no’s, however the consensus was yes, it’s okay, as our society has evolved. In creating the survey, Roylin was able to show how diverse perspectives are able to come together with a new definition of vanilla. One participant came up with the following modernized definition for consideration.
Vanilla = lack of any kinks or fetishes. Varied positions and toys are fine because they are mainstream at this point. What used to be a kink in society may not be anymore as the society opens up to the idea.
What’s the deal with all the different types of lubes?
In the Toy Talk portion of the show, Roylin discusses lubricants, from Überlube, a silicone and vitamin E lube, to a water and silicone hybrid called Pink Unity. And Good Clean Love, a chemical free, water based lube.
Roylin discusses how lubes can be used to assist women with aging issues, like thinning tissue, or dryness and painful intercourse. Pjur Med Repair is a plant based water based lube that creates a water protection on the tissue to assist with lovemaking and avoiding painful intercourse. When used with Überlube on the male, or toy, you get a combination of protection and glide!
Lastly she discusses the edible lubricants from Sliquid, which Roylin likes to call dessert!! They are delicious flavors, and no matter what you like, whether Strawberry Pomegranate or Pina Colada, you will find a flavor you enjoy!
Tokidoki, the latest line of toys offered by Lovehoney.
Our favorite Tokidoki item at Trystology is the Unicorn Wand. What is a Unicorn Wand, you might ask? Well, think about the Magic Wand on steroids… cuteness steroids. Not only do you get the power of a plug-in wand style toy, but also the adjust-ability of a variable speed massager! You know, not just on / off or high / low! You get to roll the adjuster wheel and get the sensation to be as low, medium, or high as you’d like!
In addition, the Tokidoki Unicorn Wand has a colorful, bright turquoise handle with a hot pink head. On the head is this fabulous silicone rainbow maned unicorn cover that will amplify any sensation you might like to try. Who doesn’t love a unicorn!?!
While it may be a little too cute for some people, nobody can say that the power and shape of the unicorn wand cover doesn’t work for them! The unicorn horn and ears on the silicone cover are placed strategically so that whether you’re male or female or otherwise, you can enjoy the unique sensations offered by this adorable, powerful, wand.
And, hello!? It is also an amazing back massager. Yes, some people actually do use these wands to de-stress in other ways!
Lovehoney has been an exceptional designer of quality toys over the years, offering things like the Sqweel Wheel, and presenting the Fifty Shades line of products. With the Tokidoki collection it is no different! This wand style toy is a great addition to any collection looking for a cute and clever powerful massager.
Multiple vibration speeds accessed via scroll wheel
Removable silicone head with exclusive Stellina Unicorno design
Large head perfect for body massage or broad-surface contact
In this week’s episode of Trystology Talk, Roylin discusses the challenges of fitting in an orgasm every day. By asking each episode whether you’ve had your orgasm today, the realities of life come face to face, and we begin to realize that it isn’t always as easy as it sounds. With the brain being the biggest sex organ, things like orgasms, exercise and vitamins, can get put on the back burner when life gets busy. But they are good for us, and part of what makes us healthy. So she challenges us to figure out how we can fit it in to our busy and complicated days!
“Things We Hear in the Store” is a new addition to the podcast. In this week’s segment, we heard a man reading the window decal on the outside of our store, “The G-Spot Does exist. Have you found yours?” And without missing a beat, his girlfriend said loudly and giggling, “Well you found it last night!” To which he replied, “Really?! Awesome!” We just love stuff like that!
Tools for Your Sexual Health
This Trystology Talk episode is about sexual health! We’ve discussed the health benefits of an orgasm a day, with oxytocin, endorphins, and antibodies, but we also have other areas we should focus on for our sexual health, for both men and women!
Roylin discusses how women need to focus on their pelvic floor muscles, which get a lot of abuse during childbirth, and need to be tuned up as we age. The pelvic floor muscles help with things like enhancing the orgasm and assisting with bladder control. We’ve all been told by our doctors to do “kegels,” which means tightening and pulling in the muscles whenever we’re at a stoplight, or doing dishes for example. Unfortunately, most of us don’t do it. We are fortunate that designers have created products that we can use to do these exercises without much hassle. But the funny thing we always tell customers is that “they only work if you use them!”
For men, the sexual health aspect that needs to be addressed is the prostate. Being that the prostate is accessed via the anus, it’s a subject, and body part that most men prefer to ignore. However, the prostate can wreck havoc on men, as it can harden, swell with age. By massaging the prostate, men not only can address their sexual health issues, they can also increase their pleasure. Statistics show that men can achieve an orgasm 3-10 times more intense with prostate stimulation. What’s not to like about that?! With the introduction of tools like the Aneros Helix or Eupho, prostate stimulation can be achieved more easily, and even alone.
Womanizer air technology for orgasms in less than 3 minutes!
Two and a half years ago I was introduced to a new technology at a trade show. Two men tried to convince me that new “air technology” was incredibly good at giving women orgasms in less than 3 minutes. Yeah, right.
Long story short, well, they were right. Womanizer introduced the Delight, and changed my world, and the worlds of many women. For the past two years I’ve been committed to the Womanizer as a core product in my “orgasm a day” philosophy, as it works for most of the women I’ve referred it to. This year, for whatever reason, the company discontinued my favorite, The Delight, and introduced the Pro40, an awesome $99 waterproof version, in addition to their Deluxe version. Now the Pro40 won’t be returned to stock until 2nd quarter… YIKES! What’s a girl to do without her Womanizer?
As a responsible purveyor of such things, I wanted to be sure that in the drought of Womanizer, we provide a comparable tool! I researched and found the Satisfyer. Coincidentally, the Satisfyer is also a German based company, which is where Womanizer was founded. While Womanizer is my favorite, I have to say, I’ve come to really love the Satisfyer Pro.
Here’s the thing, we’ve figured out that air suction technology works for women, and orgasms. It brings the blood flow to the clitoris, and assists in achieving an orgasm quickly. Not all women want this, as it’s clear, women are like crock pots, and men are like microwaves. Some women just want to simmer. However, with an orgasm a day philosophy, we don’t always have the time luxury of simmering, so a toy like the Womanizer or Satisfyer are a perfect addition.
What are the differences? I like the Womanizer Delight because it has the ability to push a button and quickly return to the lowest sensation. It is also extremely quiet! I like the Womanizer Pro 40 because it is waterproof and capable of adjusting sensations with a plus and minus toggle… this is GREAT! The Satisfyer Pro2, which is clearly striving to be like the Womanizer, only had one button to turn on, and one button to go all the way to 11, and back. There was no chance of toggling up or down, so when you reached a sensation that was too high, it would have to be turned off or pulled away. We just can’t all take that high sensation. All Satisfyer toys are also waterproof, and under $100! The Womanizer models start at $99 and go up.
So being forced to look at the Satisfyer more closely, I explored all their offerings, and came up with a few that I think are amazing.
The Satisfyer Pro2 is a good offering for those that want a handle, and are able to either click rapidly to adjust the sensation from low to high to low again, or are willing to turn it off and back on again to start the sensation over. With this toy you use your thumb.
The Satisfyer Pro Deluxe is an awesome little tool that nestles between the labia right onto the clitoris, and with your middle finger, you’re able to click the back of the toy to toggle up to the sensation you like, or click it off, then on, or click in rapid sequence to get from 4 to 11 to 3.
The Satisfyer Pro Penguin is just darn cute with its hot pink self and small form.
And lastly, I like the Satisfyer 2, which is currently at $50, and is a STEAL! It’s nice because it has a handle, which is great for a lot of women, and it is the only one that currently has a toggle of plus and minus. It is also battery operated, which some people prefer.
Whichever you choose, the Womanizer Deluxe, the Womanizer Pro 40, the Satisfyer Pro Deluxe, Pro2, Penquin or Satisfyer 2, you can’t go wrong with this air suction technology! I’m so grateful that those two men annoyed me with their statements and made me want to try it! The world has been a better place since.
Check out our Satisfyer and Womanizer products at www.trystology.com
Our topic today is Fifty Shades. Why? Because the second movie is coming out!
But first, I want to mention that, as you might have seen on our Trystology Facebook page, we participated in the Women’s March on Washington. With a store like Trystology, we are women centric, and so this is near and dear to my heart. I felt called to stand up for women… Because we don’t want to go backwards. Only forwards.
My favorite part was sharing it with my husband, and amazingly enough my sister and her husband connected with us amidst the hundreds of thousands of people that were there… it was very emotional to share this with her.
Wherever your stance on these subjects, know that we at Trystology support the diverse perspectives. We just want people to be free to own their bodies and own their orgasms!
Speaking of that… Have you had your Orgasm today? Against all odds, I did. What do I mean by that…? Oh, geez fitting in an orgasm, some days is much like taking vitamins and or doing 20 min of Cardio! UGH! Every day I’d prefer to linger in bed with my man and enjoy some lovin’… but these days it’s a “get stuff done” kind of day! Up and attum! No time for lingering or lovin’. So, I must squeeze it in before I go to work… and since the brain is the biggest sex organ, it’s not always willing. But it is important. For my mental, physical and emotional health… I own my orgasm.
#OYO – Own Your Orgasm!
With that in mind, I want to propose a #OYO hashtag… Own Your Orgasm! Many of my clients are shy and don’t want to post with #AnOrgasmADay, so how about just simply #OYO? I’ll be working on this over the next few weeks, but let’s start using it today and spread the love!
It’s been a few years since Fifty Shades of Grey came out. We had so much fun watching women squirm in their seats while reading the book out in public. This isn’t a commentary about the quality of the book, it’s just a phenomenon about a subject that gave women and couples permission to explore something that they were judgmental about or afraid of. I can’t tell you how many men came in and were so excited that their partner was willing to explore a vibrator, or a little bondage or spanking because of reading Fifty Shades. Whether you liked the quality of writing, or not, Fifty Shades did give a generation or more of women permission to ask questions and explore.
Here’s the thing, in BDSM relationships, there’s conversation and agreement before there’s ever the laying on of hands… Not so much in traditional relationships. I’ve always said that it’s attraction. Hand holding, kissing groping, and lovemaking. Rarely a discussion about what one wants or agreement. Fifty Shades chapter 11 reveals a contract which listed the many things a couple could agree on. It introduces a new way of approaching the conversation and the act of lovemaking. AND it gives you permission to choose with your partner, and not allow societal norms to define your relationship.
Therefore, I loved the phenomenon of Fifty Shades! Whatever you thought of the concept of the book, if you haven’t at least looked at the first book for ideas, it might be something to explore!
So, what products are we discussing today!?! Fifty Shades friendly toys! Blindfolds, cuffs, feather ticklers and spankers!
Once upon a time, it was perceived that these items were too kinky for the vanilla or traditional relationship. You’d raise an eyebrow at the thought or mention of introducing these, even a vibrator or anal plug or kegal exercisers. Now each of these items is more or less accepted in some way or another!
What happens when you blindfold someone or tie them up? We isolate a sensation, so when people told me that the fact that the book showed she had an orgasm in each session, I say that since she was blindfolded, or restrained, her sensations were amplified, which assisted in making the concept of orgasm more believable.
When we blindfold, and then touch our partner… with our hand, or with a feather tickler, or more scratch toy like a Wartenberg wheel, or scratchy beard, our pleasure sensory receptors are on steroids.
For those that aren’t intimidated by a little heartier cuff, the Kinklab Velcro cuffs, and the under the bed restraints are a fun tool. They can be situated so that you can get out of them if you place them over the top of the bed, or to the sides, which can be more restrictive. It’s such a reasonably priced kit too!
And then there are sensory items. Feather ticklers are soft and each feather style can change the sensation. Crops and floggers tend to be more stingy or sensual, depending on how they are used. I recommend a suede flogger that you can drape over and caress the skin of your partner, even a fluffy flogger that has soft fabric intertwined with the suede. And if it is used to flog the body, it can have a softer or more stingy sensation, depending on the type of leather or suede the flogger is made of.
Each person, each couple, chooses what they are comfortable with. Not all partners are comfortable with restraints, or spanking or flogging. My job is to let you know what your options are. You get to choose what’s fun for you!
Thanks for sharing this episode of Trystology Talk, Sex and the Empowered Woman. I’m your hostess Roylin Downs!
Until next time… Trystology, for Passionate Wellbeing. It’s okay to look!
How many of us can sit in front of a red light and think, “Oh my, I need to do my kegals! and simply lean forward and tighten, tighten, tighten…?” Naw, I didn’t think so! Good thing we’ve got the Swan Kiss!
I am so in love with this new kegel exerciser, the Swan Kiss Squeeze Control Vibrator. All you have to do is turn it on and it will beep twice, insert it into the vagina and squeeze. As you squeeze, you get rewarded with a tickle on the clitoris. How cool is that?!
The cool thing about this toy is it’s not merely a Kegel exerciser. It has an adjustable vibration that goes from light to strong vibration, and not only can you do this as a “rewarding kegal exerciser”, you can also squeeze the toy to the intensity that you prefer. Then press the button and it will lock into place and continue to vibrate. Which means that you can use this as a nice toy that can be used during lovemaking, for partner play, or solo play, as well as being an “exercise toy.” It’s soft and can easily be adjusted to the right power level and sensation, and it’s easy to use for Kegal exercises, or for play! The Swan Kiss Squeeze Control is waterproof, rechargeable, quiet, and has the kind of vibration that a power girl might like.
Womanizer, one of our best #orgasmaday tools. Every woman should have one of these!
Today I’m so pleased we are going to talk about the Womanizer Pro 40 and compare it to the Womanizer Delight and the Womanizer Deluxe. These are some of my favorite products, and to think that two years ago, we didn’t have this technology!
The Womanizer Pro 40 came out recently and I am kind of liking it. It is now waterproof, rechargeable, and very quiet and has more power levels and sensations! With the Pro 40 you can turn the power up or down with a click of the toggle button, and there’s a nice slim handle to hold. The new on-and-off button lets you drop down to low or high, and allows for more control. This brand-new version is less expensive, lighter and very cute.
So how does it compare to the previous versions? The original Womanizer Delight was launched about a year ago, and is quieter, and comes with a case. If you’d like a case or if noise is a concern, I would recommend the Delight, however the Pro 40 with its waterproof ability is a huge bonus. The Deluxe is a chunkier version but smaller and more compact. The sensations now have a toggle switch on the bottom. The suction is stronger yet seem to be a bit louder. You can change sensation instantly back down to the lowest sensation by pushing the on and off button.
The Womanizer Deluxe is quieter and a bit more expensive. It is not my favorite because the crystal for changing buttons is sharper than the Delight, and the controls are on the back and you need to use your middle finger and ring finger, versus your thumb, to make power adjustments. It’s surely a personal preference, so you need to decide whether you use for your comfort.
Back to the Pro 40. I think this is the best choice of the comparisons. I think Womanizer created the Pro 40 as a combination of the 2 previous versions and added even better sensations. The Pro 40 has all you could want! No matter which one you choose, I’m confident that Womanizer and its selection of products is one of our best #orgasmaday tools. I feel every woman should have one of these. AND its one of the best products we carry.
We-Vibe Sync, a beautiful, well designed, modern pleasure device.
At Trystology, We Vibe continues to be our #1 selling couples toy line, as it is the #1 selling couples toy around the world. There are so many We-Vibes now, we thought it might be helpful to share with you the traits of the We-Vibe Sync, as not all We-Vibes are right for each person.
The We-Vibe classic has been a favorite for many couples. It is really flexible, and has a remote control and is Bluetooth enabled. You can participate in couple play regardless where you are, in same room, or even same country. The We-Vibe Classic, though, did not work for everyone, because it was fuller and so did not fit smaller bodied people. So, We Vibe created the We Vibe 4 Plus. It is tighter and does not move around as easily. It is also remote control and blue tooth enabled, but it was a little tighter, and had a more pinching sensation. We found that it was also a little uncomfortable to wear outside the bedroom.
So, We-Vibe created the We Vibe Sync! As we all know no two bodies are the same. That’s why Sync was designed, so it can be adjusted to fit your unique and beautiful shape. There are two adjustable points to better target the G-spot and clitoris with variable pressure, and delightful pleasure. The bottom arm can be adjusted upwards to help give your G-spot that direct and powerful stimulation. Sync fits comfortably in place even when you change positions during sex. The adjustability of the We-Vibe Sync allows you to experience this toy in entirely new ways…and suddenly one can use this toy for positions that previously thought of as off-limits. You can explore different angles, use it completely and confidently hands-free for some, and some say the learned a thing or two about new sexual preferences during use. The Sync is a shaped more like the We-Vibe 4 Plus, but it opens up easily. It’s a bit more fitted and does not move around as much on most bodies.
The thing I really love is the intense vibration. The remote can change vibration modes as well as the intensity in the moment. Either partner can use the remote and it works up to a distance of 3 meters. A lot of women who buy these toys are power girls and haven’t been happy with the vibration on the Classic or even the 4 Plus. I believe the power girl will be very happy with the We-Vibe Sync for lovemaking, and partner play. If you are considering a We-Vibe for couple play because of the blue tooth, you can play from anywhere in the world, partner play, solo play and even under you swim suit in a Jacuzzi.
I would recommend the brand new We-Vibe Sync. It is so very flexible, vibrations are great, it has an app so you can manage the settings without using buttons, remote control, and conductive charging. It’s a little pricier than the others but the features and upgrades are well worth it. It comes in seafoam green and dark purple. We-Vibe Sync Couples Vibrator is a beautiful, well designed, modern pleasure device that brings vibrating stimulation exactly where it’s wanted and desired the most. You can find the We-Vibe Sync and other We-Vibes at Trystology.com.
Whether you’ve been together for weeks or decades, bringing sensual play into your relationship is a wonderful way to bond, and getting a massage from your partner is one of the most sensual experiences you can have. The combination of a massage oil and the right tool in the hands of your lover might be just what you need to unwind and build intimacy.
Gentle, soothing touch is an important part of couple’s play because it lets both partners put their minds and bodies at ease while enjoying each other. In this case, “gentle, soothing touch” means sensual play, the meeting point of sexy and calming. Now, I know, that sounds like a natural contradiction. Who wants partner play to be calming? Isn’t it supposed to be exciting? Well, yes, but guess what- it can be both. With couple’s massages (given by you and your partner, to each other) you can relax your body and mind while giving in to pleasure with your partner. Cool, right?
Exchanging massages with your partner creates sensual intimacy, and at Trystology we make it easy, with theLet’s Play Kit. A warm massage oil candle with soy and jojoba oils, a bottle of Uberlube silicone lubricant and massage oil with vitamin E, and a discrete, body-safe vibrator with a shape perfect for relaxing and sensual…in just the right places. The kit’s warm massage oil or smooth silicone lubricant/massage oil can be rubbed into the skin worked over with the massage tool for total relaxation. Plus, the skin will be left feeling soft by the hydrating natural oils of the candle. Or, if you choose to use the Uberlube for your massage, when you’re done the silicone will wash off of the body while the vitamin E will soak in to nourish the skin.
Created for couples to tap into the most basic sense of intimacy -Touch- in an exciting way, the Let’s Play Kit is just right for those times when you need to let go of stress and indulge in time alone with your partner.
Sometimes you just want to have some fun! With remote controlled sex-toys, customers have been “playing” inside and outside the bedroom for the last couple of years. With the We-vibe couples play toy the We-Vibe Classic, she wears the toy and both partners share in the vibration. It’s also a fun toy outside the bedroom. However she’s the only one who can feel the vibration! I’ve always thought that wasn’t fair, because as much as we know men like remotes, women also like the ability to “play” with their partner, outside the bedroom!
The wait for a solution is over!
I have paired two fabulous remote-controlled vibrators… the Lelo Hula and the Lelo Oden 2… for the ultimate in partner play! While you have to be in the vicinity, meaning it’s not Bluetooth enabled (that’s a whole other story), it makes remote play at home or outside the bedroom a whole lot more fun!
Lelo Hula Beads Remote Controlled Vibrator
First, we start with the Lelo Hula. This is a great remote controlled toy that is amazing at assisting with pelvic floor tightening! You insert it into the vagina, and turn it on. Leave it going for half an hour or so, while you go about your business. Really! It’s that easy and fun! The remote has 8 different settings, as well as different power levels. The Hula can also be used internally during oral sex, or laid externally on the labia and clitoris. Overall a fun toy that’s waterproof and rechargeable.
Lelo Oden 2 Remote Controlled Vibrating Ring
Next is the Lelo Oden 2. The Oden 2 is a great vibrating ring for men. With two ring options, one for more restriction, the other for more comfort, it’s a personal preference as to which he uses for hands free clitoral stimulation during lovemaking! It’s quiet, powerful, and with the remote you get the same 8 sensations, and various power levels. AND there’s Sensa-motion, where the toy responds to your movement.
So how do we work them together, you might ask? Each partner turns on the toy, and puts the toy in place… This doesn’t mean the toy is vibrating, it’s just on, and ready for use with the remote control. For men, I recommend the more open ring, with the vibrator pointed down toward the testicles. For women, you can insert the Hula either way, with the string down, or up. I suggest up, so the rotating movement is closer to the G-Spot. Once you have your products in place, you each have your remote, and are ready to go out to dinner. Or play. Now the fun thing about these products, is that they both can work off of the same remote! REALLY! So when one remote is turned on, and vibration is increased, both toys start to vibrate. Yes, that means if anyone else in the restaurant happens to be wearing a Lelo remote-controlled toy, they too will have their vibe start. Crazy, right?!?
All’s fair in play with remote controlled toys, and I love that we have a way in which both men and women are able to play with their partners outside the bedroom. For more fun ideas, check out our kits at www.trystology.com